RAEVILLE

Friday, July 13, 2007

Spent the time that was set aside for my English essay last night watching Because I Said So. It wasn't great, but a really nice mother/daughter movie. I really only liked it because there's was this cute guitarist in colourful clothes (namely, Gabriel Macht! :3) who was so sweet and- Look, the point is, I spent my time watching movies rather than doing my stupid English essay, which I did this morning. Woke up early for it and even sacrificed tennis for it. It's done, anyway. I spent about 2-3 hours writing it. It's such a half-done job that Ms Knorr might feed it to her cat and tell me she lost it.

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We went out to Bijou for dinner last night. I figured mum was lazy to cook, since we're having a BBQ today. She gave Ri and I a big lecture about wanting things. She said that if you want something bad enough, all you have to do is be positive enough to have it right in front of you, and that is exactly what you'll get. I believe otherwise. I have the nature to feel bad about asking for things for my pleasure, and for perfectly good reasons. I could even call it paranoia. You see, I feel bad about asking for things like a new guitar or a laptop because I always have the feeling that my parents will say no. And for this very reason, I never try unless my birthday or Christmas is around the corner and someone asks me for what I want. I also don't ask because I don't like to put any kind of financial pressure on people when it comes to things that aren't necessary, but nice. I argued with mum over this, and her last words to me came out something like this, "Just because your father left doesn't mean you don't deserve anything for yourself!"

Just thinking about it angers me. I don't feel at all affected by my father's departure from the family. I don't. I still see him, I treat him as normal and everything. I can't believe my mother would believe in such a thing as a cause for my nature. It's not something I can explain to someone and make them believe me, because it's me. And sometimes, one just cannot prove their true nature to another person in words.

I've got Biology tutoring now :( I'm so tired.

Cheers.

& turned on the lights; 12:19

about me.

raelene. rae. roro.
eighteen years.
malaysian.
completed her final year of school at st caths, sydney.
is a musician, photographer and aspiring designer.
loves travelling, art, music, great food, clear blue skies, writing and ice-cream.
enjoys drowning in music, strumming random chords on the guitar, playing tennis,
finger-bashing it out on a game console and a bowl of curry laksa.
despises bad traffic, girls with long and fair faces with large contact-lensed eyes, bad food, mascara goop, hard pillows and hard beds.

raeville.

RAEVILLE came about some time in the year of 2001. or 2002. it's been so long that i've forgotten already.
it all started here (i doubt the link works anymore though), in a dodgy little blog page. then it moved to here. a year later, and we moved to better things, namely blogspot.

ps. raeville is best viewed on mozilla firefox. just because it's better :)

webcam.

plugs.

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